Saturday, December 13, 2025

 Dear Darlin'

I hope you are enjoying a sunny day Where You Are. It's been sunny here and warmer that expected. You would have loved to take a walk today and collect smells. Collecting smells was one of your favorite things to do. Probably still is.

You also would have really loved yesterday, and Mommy Megan and Daddy Devin came from Nashville to visit G Mommy and me. We were joined by Aunt Debbie and Uncle Matthew to celebrate G Mommy's birthday, which, as you know, actually falls on Christmas Eve. With the six of us all gathered around, the room was filled with laughter and joy, all of which you would have taken in. You would have been the center of attention, of course, as always. It always seemed as if you could sense love, which always made you happy.

The best part of the evening, however was when Mommy Megan and Daddy Devin left to go to their hotel for the night, because this meant that you would be spending the night with G Mommy and me. You always loved staying with your grandparents; it always seemed to put an extra spring in your step. Even in your later years, you seemed to grow younger when you stayed with us. when we went into the condo hallway to go outside for a walk, you would patiently wait for me to say, "Let's go!." and then you would run full tilt down the hallway to the up down car, as if you couldn't wait to get outside and start collecting smells. Your walks were always fun, and I loved every single one of them. I miss them now. 

After your walk, it would be bedtime (you always let us know when it was bedtime), and you'd hop up into our bed and wait for us. Then, when we climbed into bed, you would jump down and get into your bed - one turn - two turns - and then a third turn - and curl up.

Last night aa big half moon shone through the window next to my side of the bed, the side you always slept on. In the middle of the night I awoke as I often do these days, and I could clearly see where your bed would have been. I remembered how I used to hear you snoozing. What a comforting sound that was. Two of my favorite sounds ever are the sound of G Mommy snoozing and you slumbering away. 

It's hard for me to not feel emptiness at you not being here sleeping with us in our bedroom. Knowing that it will never happen again breaks my heart - crumples it, really. Yet, here I am writing about things that did happen - things that have turned into cherished memories. They are a part of the fabric of my soul, and I try to convince myself that this means that you are still here in some way. Well, you must be. I'm writing you this letter, aren't I? 

You were loved and still are. Isn't love the essence of true life? 

Your life isn't over yet. Neither is mine.